If you need some extra cash, or a new job, here’s how to become a contact tracer, contacting people exposed to the Covid-19 coronavirus, and for good pay!

Teenager Cella (@cellla_ on Twitter) apparently really wasn’t looking forward to her new job at Jet’s Pizza in Mansfield, Texas. So much so that she tweeted “Ew I start this fuckass job tomorrow,” followed by seven ‘thumbs down’ emoji. Following that tweet, she was promptly fired, also on Twitter.

We all know that half the battle of getting a job interview is a killer cover letter. One student majoring in finance who is looking for an internship on Wall Street in New York has written a cover letter that has become a viral Internet sensation because of how blunt and honest it is.

We’ve all had days where we didn’t want to work, but according to Andrew Valentine, a principal for Verizon Enterprise Solutions, a man he calls “Bob” took it to a new level by by outsourcing his own six-figure-salaried job to China for $50,000/year, while he surfed Reddit and looked at cat videos.

A Craigslist job posting experiment by recent grad, Eric Auld, highlighted just how dire the job market is for many. For those who are freshly out of school, such as Master’s graduate Auld, finding a job should be a fun prospect, full of possibilities of the dream career after the fruits of one’s academic labors. The higher one’s education, the better it would seem their chances of getting their foot in the door with the desired employer and climbing that corporate ladder.

If you spent even a few hours this week on the Internet, you probably couldn’t help hearing about “Jenny”, the girl who quit her job by whiteboard, meaning that she took a series of 33 pictures, each of herself holding up a dry erase board with a different message written on the whiteboard in each picture, which she then emailed to all of her co-workers. The gist of the messages on the whiteboard was that she was quitting after hearing her insufferable boss call her a HPOA (for “hot piece of *ss”, although he was so lame he said “HOPA”). She also outed him for spending far too many work hours each week playing Farmville on Facebook. Instantly, Jenny became the hero, and lust object, of people around the world. What guts! What creativity! What bollucks!…because it turns out that “Girl quits her job on dry erase board, emails entire office” was a big fat hoax. In fact her name isn’t even Jenny, it’s Elyse Porterfield, and she’s an actress from LA. (Some are looking for Elise Porterfield or even Else Porterfield, but it’s Elyse Porterfield, we promise.)