Below is the full, searchable transcript of the whistleblower complaint against President Donald Trump, Attorney General William Barr, and Attorney Rudy Giuliani.

In one of the creepier, more invasive – or brilliant, depending on your views – uses of the Internet of Things, smart CPAP machines are being monitored, and even adjusted, from across the Internet, and if you aren’t using yours often enough (known as ‘CPAP compliance’ or being ‘CPAP compliant’, your medical insurance company won’t pay for it, and your life insurance and health insurance premiums could go up. Now, for recent users of the CPAP (Continuous Positive Air Pressure) machines, this may be old news, but for the rest of us, HOLY CPAP!