Write Spamware for College Credit

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First there was spam offering you an online degree.

Then the spammers were getting the third degree.

Now you can learn how to spam and get credit for your college degree.

Yes, the University of Calgary, that wacky institution of higher learning that brought us “Virus Writing 101” in 2003, is taking another run-up to turning out engineers a cut above (above what Aunty is not quite sure) by including a course on writing spyware and spamware in its 2005 curriculum.

While some industry experts are applauding U Calgary’s move as forward thinking (SurfControl’s CEO, Steve Purdham, said that he’d “look favourably upon any applicant who was a graduate of the course”, explaining that “if we’re looking for an engineer to help us combat problems like spam then we’d rather have somebody who has already been taught about these things and who knows how they work”) others see it as slightly less so.

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Explained Pete Simpson, of ClearSwift, “When the University of Calgary first caused controversy with the virus writing course, their dubious defence was that only by writing viral code could a student fully understand and be able to protect against real viruses, but I’m sorry, that argument really falls flat for spamming tools.”

Still, when it comes to alumni employment potential, you have to admit that it gives their students a skill which beats “Would you like fries with your poutine?”

Of course, if you want a real education in how to spam, you should go to Spam U.

Yes, Spam University is a place which doesn’t mince words, offering not just an education, they tell you, but a career. According to their homepage, Spam U. is “the world’s top-rated educational institution for the growing spam industry.”

Courses offered include “The Science of Writing Subject Lines” and how to harvest email addresses.

Not everybody makes the grade, though. Spam U. has tough admissions standards, including having at least four years of elementary school education, and no more than three felony convictions.

Of course Spam U., which can be visited [Page no longer available – we have linked to the archive.org version instead], isn’t real. But the University of Calgary is, and so is their “Write Spyware and Spamware for credit’ program.

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