Porn Industry Looks for Financial Bailout from Congress

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The more ‘traditional’ – for lack of a better word – porn industry is looking for its own financial bailout from Congress, because, they say, it has been severely impacted by the online adult industry.

That’s the message that was delivered to Congress by such high-profile porn industry moguls as Larry Flynt, and Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild.

In fact, Joe Francis is preparing a petition requesting financial aid from the new 2009 Congress, claiming that there has been a more than 20% drop in the sales and rentals of smutty DVDs, because of online adult entertainment sites.

Said a spokesperson for the initiative, “With the Big Three automakers asking for assistance, and with banks asking for assistance, we thought, ‘Why not us?’ The adult industry is another great American business entity. We represent the all-American pursuit of sexual gratification.”

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Why not you? Well, even if this passed the straight-face request test, the auto industry is not failing due to people turning to online automobile simulators.

When an industry is revolutionized due to a new technology, smart industry players embrace (and indeed anticipate) the technology, and move to read the handwriting on the wall. If Flynt and Francis can’t figure out how to compete in this newfangled interwebs, then their business is suffering because of their own lack of business acumen – under no regime of which we are aware does that qualify one for a financial bailout.

But according to Larry Flynt, “People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is a very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex. It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

Still, don’t look for any “one night stand” tax credits in the Federal budget any time soon.

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2 thoughts on “Porn Industry Looks for Financial Bailout from Congress

  1. “When an industry is revolutionized due to a new technology, smart industry players embrace (and indeed anticipate) the technology, and move to read the handwriting on the wall. ”

    Take out “due to a new technology,” and the EXACT same words can be applied to the automobile audience that ripped of the American people. Detroit doesn’t build cars that anyone wants to buy — they don’t work, they burn too much fuel, and they cost too much. Where are “the smart industry players”? Why are they (or the financial “industry”) entitled to a bailout for poor business practices?

  2. Interesting. Do you suppose the porn industry pays tax on the services they offer? On the other hand, we’ve been screwed for the last eight years … .

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